The Parent Survival Guide
Your kid is at BU now. Here's the honest guide to supporting them without smothering them - and knowing when to actually worry.
Emergency & Key Contacts
What They Won't Tell You
How to read between the lines
They're Struggling Academically
- Vague answers about classes
- Avoiding grade discussions
- Sudden major change talk
Ask about specific assignments, not grades. Offer to help find tutoring resources. Don't threaten consequences.
They're Lonely
- Calling home constantly
- Always in their room when you video chat
- Negative comments about peers
Encourage club involvement, but don't push. Share that it takes a full semester to build friendships.
They're Overwhelmed
- Exhaustion in every call
- Snapping at small things
- Skipping meals or activities
Validate their stress. Help them prioritize. Remind them of campus mental health resources.
They're Having Fun
- Short calls
- Busy weekends
- New friends you haven't heard about
This is good! Let them enjoy it. Don't guilt trip about not calling enough.
The Hidden Costs
Beyond tuition, here's what to budget for
| Expense | Cost |
|---|---|
| Dining Plan Overages | $50-200/semester |
| T Pass (Transit) | $90/month |
| Textbooks | $200-600/semester |
| Winter Gear | $150-300 |
| Laundry | $20-40/month |
| Random Fees | $50-100/semester |
Key Dates to Know
Mark your calendar now
Family Weekend
Late OctoberBook hotels 6+ months ahead - they sell out
Thanksgiving Break
Late NovemberMany students stay on campus - it's fine
Winter Break
Mid-December to Mid-JanuaryDorms close - plan storage or shipping
Spring Break
Early-Mid MarchNot as long as high school - just one week
Finals
Dec & MayDo NOT visit during finals. Send care packages instead.
Commencement
Third Sunday in MayBook everything a year in advance
When to Step In
Knowing the difference between normal stress and real concern
Mentioned feeling depressed or anxious
Encourage them to contact Student Health Services (617-353-3575). Offer to help them make the appointment.
Grades dropped significantly
Ask questions first. Connect them with their advisor or the Educational Resource Center.
Roommate conflict
Let them handle it first. ResLife exists for serious issues.
Safety concern
Contact BU Police (617-353-2121) or call 911 for emergencies.
Homesick
Listen. Don't offer to let them come home immediately - it often makes it worse.
How to Actually Help
Do This
- Set a regular call schedule they agree to
- Send care packages during finals
- Ask about their friends and activities
- Share your own college struggles
- Trust them to solve their own problems first
- Visit during Family Weekend (once!)
Avoid This
- Calling or texting multiple times a day
- Tracking their location constantly
- Contacting their professors directly
- Showing up unannounced
- Comparing them to siblings or high school
- Threatening to "bring them home"
They're Going to Be Fine
Really. BU has incredible resources, and your student is more capable than you think.